When Small Connections Make a Big Impact

One of the biggest things I learned on my sabbatical was to appreciate even the briefest of connections. As an introvert, I tend to seek out deeper relationships. In my early 20s, I struggled with small talk and preferred to invest my limited social energy in a small circle of close friends. That luxury doesn’t exist when you’re constantly traveling. In fact, with many of the people whose memories stand out from my travels, we never even exchanged names. But even small connections can make a big impact.

Giving directions in Iceland

The farther I got into my sabbatical, the easier it was for me to handle my mistakes. On my first morning in Iceland, however, I was furious with myself for leaving my everyday black cardigan at home. I knew some things would go wrong over the course of a year-long trip, but seriously? I couldn’t make it 12 hours? While I was brooding by Lake Tjornin, someone mistook me for a local and asked for directions. I happened to have noticed the museum he was looking for on my walk, so I knew the answer, and my spirits were instantly lifted. Making a mistake doesn’t make you a bad traveler.

Returning my key in Barcelona

Wandering through the Boqueria market on La Rambla, I realized something about myself. I noticed that I was far more likely to make purchases from a female vendor. It was the first of several instances that forced me to confront how little I trust strange men, for better or for worse. That very night as I returned to my hostel, I was a bit nervous upon hearing a man call after me on the street after dark. Right as I approached my door, however, he caught up to me holding out my hostel keycard, which had fallen out of my bag.

Getting around a strike in Italy

My final morning in Naples, I was eating breakfast in the courtyard of my hostel when a fellow guest came out and asked everyone if they knew about the train strike. I, of course, didn’t. I went inside to get help from the front desk checking the status of my booked train to the Amalfi Coast. Fortunately, it was still scheduled to depart as planned. But, gosh, if it had been cancelled and I didn’t know until after I turned up at the station? Not only did this guest’s announcement about the strike help many people with their logistics, it worked as a  big icebreaker for the group and many of us spent the rest of the morning chatting while we waited for our respective departure times. I even met someone who had also just begun a year-long sabbatical.

Finding a nuclear bunker in Croatia

I’m not sure anywhere I stayed on sabbatical was as much of an adventure as the Atomic Bunker Hostel in Zagreb. Just finding the place was a bit of a scavenger hunt. The directions the hostel owners gave me were not accurate, so god bless the neighbor who noticed me walking up and down the street with my backpack. As he showed me the way, he talked about his experience living in the area and watching this hostel open. He said he wouldn’t necessarily want to walk down that street by himself — he definitely didn’t think I should. And man was he right. The tunnel leading to that bunker was not well marked or lit at all. I had been wary at first of accepting a strange man’s help, but he wound up being my absolute savior.

Finding the bus in Croatia

Flixbus sells tickets in Croatia, but they don’t operate the actual buses in this region of Europe — they outsource to a third party. I learned this when I arrived at the Zagreb station and couldn’t tell which platform I needed to be on. I overhead somebody muttering to himself looking for the same bus and struck up a conversation. I wouldn’t have been certain what to do by myself and neither was he, but together we split up the station and checked each platform until we found where we needed to go.

Getting to the airport in Athens

I thought I was so smart going to the airport straight from the docks at Piraeus when my time in Greece was done. My ferry from Santorini wasn’t due to get in until midnight. I certainly wasn’t going to go seek out a hostel that time of night. So color me surprised when several stops from the airport, the metro closed and everyone had to get off the train in lord-knows-where. How was I going to get to the airport now? Fortunately, a French couple was in same situation. We started talking and figuring out together what our options were, and ultimately agreed to share a cab. Taxi fare to the airport is a flat rate of nearly 40 euro. I would have never been able to pay for that by myself — I don’t think I even had that much cash on me at that moment. Being able to split the fare and not being alone in a strange part of Athens by myself at 1am were both total godsends.

An offering in India

This is going to be harsher than I talk about many aspects of my sabbatical, but if I never see the assholes that were at my hostel in Delhi ever again, it will be too soon. Some sort of work-study program had taken over the dorms and made my stay nearly unbearable, with men constantly in and out of my all-female dorm at all hours without knocking, frequent PDA from couples, and a leader of the program actually shaking his finger in my face telling me I was full of shit and bad at my job when I had to politely decline an invitation to go out because I needed to focus on my freelance work.

The final straw came when a girl was making out with her boyfriend in the bed next to mine well after midnight. I tried to ignore it and just go to sleep, but then she started telling him she was tired and wanted him to leave. He wouldn’t listen. For the next hour, they alternated between whispered arguments and more kissing and more of her telling him to stop. I finally felt my blood boil, shot up from my bed, and snapped, “Hey, if you won’t believe she wants you to go, believe that I do. It is 2am and this is a women’s dorm. Get out.” 

But this story is about small moments of connection, not badly behaved guests. I wasn’t the only unwilling observer to this exchange. Earlier that evening a rather shy seeming girl had checked in to another bunk in the room, and she was also trying to sleep during that unsavory scene.

The following morning, just she and I were in the room. I was packing and she wandered over, holding out a Ferrero Rocher in her palm. I smiled and thanked her, and she went back about her business. We never exchanged another word, but it was a sweet gesture and I felt like it was a silent “Thank you for being the hostel bitch and getting that guy out of here.”

Public restrooms in Bangkok

Wandering Chatuchak market, I took a break at an indoor shopping mall to use the restroom. I often carry toilet paper, but didn’t have any in my bag that day. There was none in the bathroom stalls, nothing in the dispenser by the sink. An older woman noticed me poking around and handed me a wad of tissue out of her own purse. It was such a brief moment and a simple gesture, but I honestly think that kind of thing exemplifies being welcomed into a country.

Tubing in Laos

This was really not something I should have done by myself. Tubing in Vang Vieng has a bit of a reputation. Before the Lao government cracked down on illegal drug use, over-serving at bars, and dangerous rope swings over the Nam Song River, several travelers actually lost their lives while partaking in this popular backpacking activity. These days it is safer by far, but I still almost lost my tube trying to get in the river by myself at the starting point. Trying to juggle the dry bag with my clothes, I managed to capsize and nearly lost my tube to the current. I wasn’t in any physical danger, but it also wasn’t my most graceful moment. I managed to catch my tube, but got a little help on reentry from a someone who had shared  my tuktuk to the riverside.

These are just a few moments that helped teach me it’s okay to be ships passing in the night. Not every connection you make is a lifelong friend. You can have positive experiences with the people you meet and never see them again, never even know their names, and it doesn’t take away from having a positive moment. I’ve met other people on my sabbatical who I befriended for a few days, and even some I stayed in touch with for years. But these people who helped me through my trip without even a name to put to the face deserve a little recognition.